How to Legally Separate and Get Divorced

Separating from a spouse is never easy, but understanding your legal options can make the process less overwhelming. If you’re thinking about a trial separation, legal separation, or divorce, this guide explains each option. It also shows how Legal Templates can help you create the forms and agreements you’ll need. Learn how to separate legally, protect your rights, and move forward with clarity and confidence.

What Is Legal Separation?

Legal separation is not just about living apart or signing an agreement. In the 41 states where it is available, legal separation is a court-recognized alternative to divorce. It allows couples to stay legally married while setting formal rules for living separately. These rules usually cover money, property, and decisions about children. Many couples also create a written separation agreement, which the court can approve as part of the legal separation process.

Being legally separated is different from just moving out. Most states require a signed form or court filing for the separation to be official. This protects both spouses and validates the agreement in case one person doesn’t follow it.

Many couples choose legal separation over divorce. Some want time to figure out what’s next, others stay married for health insurance, religious reasons, or to avoid divorce costs. Even if you eventually plan to divorce, having a legal separation in place allows you to resolve the issues from your marriage prior to the divorce. 

Not all states recognize a legal separation. For example, Florida, Texas, Pennsylvania and Delaware don’t have a process for it. Some states, like Georgia and Mississippi, use a similar process called “separate maintenance”. Even in those states a signed agreement can still be used to set rules during time apart. See state separation requirements.

Types of Separation

Not all separations involve a formal legal document. Some couples begin with a trial separation, where they choose to live apart for a time without filing any legal paperwork. Others may remain in a permanent separation, with no intent to reconcile but without formally ending the marriage through the court.

Only a legal separation involves a court document that formally defines the couple’s legal status. However, couples can still create legally binding separation agreements during a trial or permanent separation, even without going to court.

Legal Separation vs. Divorce

Separation and divorce both let you live apart, but they end a marriage in very different ways. A major difference between the two is that legal separation can be reversed, while divorce is permanent. If a couple reconciles, they can revoke the separation and continue the marriage. Divorce legally ends the relationship. To reinstate it, you would need to get married again.

Choosing between separation and divorce depends on your personal, financial, religious, and emotional needs. Some couples need more time or want to stay married for practical reasons, while others are ready for a final legal split.

Do You Need to Be Legally Separated Before Divorce?

You don’t always need to be legally separated before filing for divorce, but in most states, you must live apart for a certain amount of time first. This is often called a separation period, and it’s common in no-fault divorce states.

For example:

• North Carolina requires one year of living apart before filing.
• New York lets couples divorce using a valid separation agreement. They can also choose other options, like abandonment or irretrievable breakdown.
• Florida and Texas do not recognize legal separation. However, couples can still create a separation agreement to resolve important issues while living apart.

Many couples use this time to prepare for an uncontested divorce by agreeing on custody, support, and property ahead of time. Even if it’s not required, separation can be a helpful legal and emotional step.

State Separation Rules

Check the table below for your state’s rules, or contact a local attorney if you’re unsure.

Steps to Getting Legally Separated

Legal separation can look different depending on your state and whether both spouses agree. Here’s how to legally separate, step by step:

Step 1. Decide If Legal Separation Is Right for You

Legal separation allows you to live apart while remaining legally married. It may be right for you if:

• You’re not ready for divorce
• Your religion or personal beliefs discourage divorce
• You want to keep access to spousal benefits like health insurance or Social Security

If you’re unsure, speak with a legal professional to determine if separation or divorce better fits your situation.

Step 2. Research State-Specific Separation Laws

Not every state offers court-recognized legal separation. However, couples in these states can sign one that acts like a legal contract. The table above shows your state laws. 

Step 3. Draft a Separation Agreement

A separation agreement lays out how you’ll handle:

• Finances and debts
• Property division
• Child custody and parenting time
• Spousal or child support

This agreement protects both spouses, even during informal separations or in places that don’t recognize legal separation. Legal Templates’ document editor provides an easy way to complete an agreement that includes the essential clauses to ensure it’s legally binding. 

Start Protecting Your Interests with a Separation Agreement

Quickly draft a personalized separation agreement to outline property, finances, and parenting arrangements. No legal experience required.

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Step 4. Address Finances, Custody, and Property

Include clear terms for:

• Who stays in the marital home (if applicable)
• How expenses are split
• Parenting schedules and responsibilities
• Division of shared assets and debts

Step 5. File with the Court (If Applicable)

If your state allows it, file your separation petition with the local court. This makes the separation legally recognized in some states. Filing a document with the court is not necessary to achieve a legal status of separation in every state. Check your local laws to determine if anything needs to be filed.

What you’ll likely need:

• A separation petition
• A copy of your signed separation agreement if you have one
• Any required supporting documents
• Filing fee (ranges from $100 to $400)

How Much Does It Cost to Legally Separate?

If both spouses agree and no lawyer is needed, legal separation usually only costs the court filing fee, typically between $80 and $400. In Queens County, NY, for example, the fee is $210. Costs go up if you hire a lawyer or need to resolve disputes in court.

Step 6. Serve Your Spouse and Await Response

If you’re filing solo, your spouse must be served with the documents. They typically have 30 days to respond.

You normally can’t serve them yourself. A neutral third party (like a professional process server, sheriff, or sometimes even a trusted adult who isn’t involved in the case) must deliver the papers. This helps prove to the court that your spouse was properly notified.

What if My Spouse Won’t Sign the Separation Agreement?

If your spouse won’t sign and your state allows legal separation through the courts, you can try mediation or ask the court to approve terms at a hearing. If your state does not allow legal separation, you may need to file for divorce instead, which does not require your spouse’s signature. Make sure you complete any required waiting period before filing for divorce.

Step 7: Finalize and Follow the Agreement

Once approved by the court, your agreement becomes legally binding. Be sure to:

• Keep a copy for your records
• Follow the terms carefully
• Update related documents like your will, advance directive, or power of attorney

The timeline for legal separation varies by state and by how complex your agreement is. If both spouses agree, it can take as little as a few weeks to a few months. Disagreements or court backlogs may extend the process to six months or longer.

Legal separation is a serious decision. It involves legal duties and requires court participation. Unlike divorce, you can’t remarry during this time period, and if you eventually do divorce, you may face additional legal fees. So, it’s important to consider if legal separation helps you reach your goals or just puts off a permanent solution. In cases where children or property are involved, a legal separation action might be necessary.

Checklist: Documents Needed for Legal Separation

Depending on your situation, you may need some of the following documents:

• Separation Agreement
• Financial disclosures or financial affidavit
• Parenting Plan (if you have children)
• Any supporting forms your state needs (like filing petition)
• Proof of residency (e.g., utility bill, lease)
• Payment of filing fee

How to Move from Legal Separation to Divorce

For some couples, legal separation is a long-term solution. For others, it’s a stepping stone to divorce. If you’ve decided the marriage is truly over, or if circumstances like new relationships, financial independence, or a desire to remarry arise, converting your separation into a divorce can provide full legal closure. 

Moving from legal separation to divorce depends on your situation, your readiness, and your state’s laws.

If you already have a separation agreement, it will help simplify the divorce process later. Many of the hard conversations, like how to divide assets or raise children, will already be settled in writing.

Do You Have to Be Separated Before Divorce?

In some states, yes, you must be separated before you can file for divorce. This is often the case in no-fault divorce states, where you don’t have to prove that either spouse did something wrong (like cheating or abuse) to get a divorce. Instead, couples can simply say the marriage isn’t working anymore.

These states usually require a mandatory “cooling off” period where spouses live separately. These rules are meant to give couples time to reconcile or prepare for permanent separation.

For example, in North Carolina, you must have been separated for one full year before you can file for divorce.

Some states, like Florida and Texas, don’t recognize legal separation at all. However, spouses must still live apart before filing for divorce and can use a separation agreement to sort out responsibilities during that time.

Here’s what to know:

• New York, Virginia, Connecticut, and New Jersey either require a written separation agreement or allow divorce to be granted based on an existing legal separation agreement or court order.
• Others only require that spouses live separately (even informally).
• In a few states, separation is not required at all prior to filing for divorce..

Before filing, check your state’s specific requirements.

Converting a Legal Separation Into a Divorce

If you’ve already gone through the legal separation process, converting that into a divorce may be easier than starting from scratch. Many courts will allow you to “convert” or reference your separation agreement as part of your divorce filing.

Here’s how it usually works:

• One spouse files a divorce petition (a formal request to the court to start the divorce process), noting that the parties are already legally separated.
• The court can accept the current separation agreement and add it to the final divorce decree as long as it is fair and current.
• If anything has changed (finances, child custody, etc.), you may need to update the agreement before filing.

States may use different terms in their laws or court forms, such as:

• “Conversion divorce” (used in statutes or court rules)
• “Divorce following legal separation” (how some courts or legal guides describe the process)
• “Changing legal separation to divorce” (commonly used on court websites or by attorneys)

You don’t need a legal separation agreement to get divorced. However, having one can reduce legal disputes and save time in court.

To make it easier, use Legal Templates’ divorce agreement template. You can formalise your terms or update your current agreement as needed.

When Do You Move From Separation to Divorce?

Legal separation doesn’t have to lead to divorce, but it does for many couples. It’s a personal decision. That said, here are some signs it may be time to move forward with a divorce:

• You’ve emotionally checked out of the relationship
• One or both of you have started new romantic relationships
• Finances and parenting responsibilities are separate
• You no longer want to share benefits like insurance or taxes
• You want legal closure or the freedom to remarry

Some couples stay separated for years, by choice or to preserve financial arrangements. Others realise legal separation is just delaying the inevitable. If you feel stuck in limbo, know legal separation is not permanent unless you choose to keep it that way.

A divorce can bring emotional and legal closure. It means you’re no longer financially or legally tied to your spouse. This is important if things change.

Steps to Getting an Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce is usually the easiest and cheapest way to end a marriage. In an uncontested divorce, both spouses agree on all major issues, like property division, child custody, and support, so they don’t need a trial or a judge to settle disputes. This works well when both spouses are willing to cooperate. The steps vary by state, but the process is similar across the US.

Here’s a simple guide on getting an uncontested divorce. It covers what to expect at each stage.

Step 1. Meet Residency Requirements

Before you can file for divorce, you must meet your state’s residency requirements. These rules determine how long one or both spouses must have lived in the state, or sometimes even in a specific county, before filing.

Check with your local court for state-specific rules.

Step 2. File the Divorce Petition

One spouse (the petitioner) must file a divorce petition (also called a complaint) with the court to start the process. This document formally asks for the marriage to be dissolved and outlines your terms.

Unlike a separation agreement, which is a private contract, a divorce petition starts a public legal action. Filing involves:

• A filing fee (usually $100–$400)
• A copy of your divorce agreement if the terms are pre-agreed
• Any required local forms or affidavits

Where to Find Divorce Petitions

Most states provide blank divorce petition forms (also called a complaint for divorce) on their official court or judiciary websites. Some counties also have their own local forms.

You can usually find them:

• On your state’s court website 
• On your local county courthouse website
• By visiting the courthouse in person and asking the clerk’s office for the forms
• Some states offer online guided interviews that help you fill out the forms correctly

Step 3. Serve Your Spouse

In an uncontested divorce, you still need to inform your spouse. This step is called service of process. You can’t serve the documents yourself. They must be served by a neutral third party, such as a process server, sheriff, or through certified mail. The choice depends on your state’s rules.

Once served, your spouse (the respondent) typically has 20 to 30 days to respond, based on your state’s requirements.

Sometimes, your spouse may choose to sign a waiver of service. This means they acknowledge they’ve received notice of the divorce and agree to move forward without requiring formal service. If they sign this, the process can move ahead more quickly.

Step 4. Wait for a Response or Default

If your spouse responds and agrees with the terms, the court will move towards finalizing your uncontested divorce. If they do not respond within the required timeframe, the court may proceed by default judgment, meaning the divorce is granted based on your initial petition.

This step gives your spouse a chance to review and contest the terms before the court acts.

Step 5. Negotiate or Finalize Terms

If both spouses haven’t already completed a separation or divorce agreement, now is the time to do so. This document should cover:

• Property and debt division
• Parenting arrangements
• Spousal and child support

If you already have a separation agreement in place, much of this work is done. You may attach it to your divorce filing.

Check out our divorce settlement checklist for a rundown of what to include.

Finalize Your Divorce Terms and Move Forward

Create a clear, comprehensive divorce settlement agreement covering property division, spousal support, and parenting terms.

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Step 6. Attend Court Hearing (If Required)

Some states allow an uncontested divorce to be completed without a court appearance, while others require a brief hearing, even if everything is agreed upon.

At the hearing (if applicable), the judge may:

• Ask simple questions to confirm the agreement is fair and voluntary
• Review documents for accuracy and completeness
• Finalize the divorce if no issues arise

This step is often quick and procedural.

Step 7. Get Final Divorce Decree

Once the court approves your paperwork and agreement, it will issue a final divorce decree. This legally ends your marriage and enforces the terms agreed upon.

Keep a certified copy of your decree for your records. It may be needed to:

• Change your name
• Update your marital status with Social Security
• Modify legal documents like your will or power of attorney

Legal, Financial, and Parental Considerations

When you separate or divorce, decisions about kids, property, and money can affect you for a long time. The terms you set now, especially in writing, can influence your legal duties for years. Here’s what to consider when creating a clear and enforceable agreement.

Child Support and Custody

If you have kids together, your agreement should clearly outline how you’ll manage parenting and support. Courts look at what’s best for the child. Both physical and legal custody must be clearly defined when separating or divorcing.

Types of custody to define:

• Physical custody: Where the child lives
• Legal custody: Who makes important decisions (health, education, etc.)

You can choose shared custody or make one parent the main custodian. The other parent can then have visitation rights. A complete parenting plan should also cover:

• Weekly schedules
• Holidays and vacation time
• Pick-up and drop-off logistics

Use our parenting plan template to create a clear and fair arrangement.

Child support is generally based on income, time spent with each parent, health insurance, childcare costs, and the child’s physical needs. Most states use a specific formula to calculate payment amounts. If your situation changes later, fill out a child support modification form to update your agreement.

Property and Debts

Dividing assets and debts is essential in both separation and divorce. If you included this in a separation agreement, you may only need to repeat those terms in your divorce filing.

Typical assets and debts to address:

• Marital home
• Vehicles
• Bank accounts and retirement savings
• Credit card balances and loans

If one spouse is keeping real estate, a quitclaim deed can transfer ownership to reflect the new arrangement. This helps avoid legal confusion later.

If one spouse wants to keep the marital home, they may need to buy out the other’s share. This process can involve refinancing or offsetting other assets. Learn how a house buyout works in divorce and what to consider before making that decision. The spouse keeping the home may need to refinance the mortgage to remove the other spouse from liability.

Health Insurance and Taxes

Both legal separation and divorce affect your insurance coverage and tax status.

• Health insurance: Depending on the provider, a legal separation might let one spouse stay on the other’s health plan. However, coverage typically ends after a divorce, so it’s smart to explore Continuation of Health Coverage (COBRA) or private plans early.
• Taxes: After a divorce, you’ll generally file as single or head of household. If legally separated (and not yet divorced), some couples may still qualify to file jointly, depending on IRS rules and state law. Separated couples should agree ahead of time on their filing status.

Child support is not taxable or deductible. For spousal support (alimony), the law changed in 2019: for divorce or separation agreements executed after December 31, 2018, spousal support payments are not deductible by the paying spouse and not taxable income to the receiving spouse, under current IRS rules.

Don’t forget to update:

• Health insurance enrollment
• Tax withholding (W-4)
• Estate planning documents like your power of attorney or last will and testament