You were given a beautiful engagement ring from your lover as a gesture of hope bearing the promise of love and commitment, or perhaps you were the one who decided to pop the question.
Although the time between the proposal and the vows is hopefully full of joy, what happens to that ring if the engagement is called off?
This article will discuss how courts decide who gets to keep the ring and different legal options including how a prenuptial agreement can protect your assets if your engagement ends.
Who gets to keep the ring if the engagement is called off?
Whether you purchased the ring or you were the one proposed to, there are a few ways the courts can decide who gets to keep it if you didn’t go through with the wedding. While some countries like the UK uniformly allow the receiver to keep the ring, individual states in the U.S vary greatly in deciding who gets to keep it.
In the U.S, individual state laws typically decide based on how the ring itself is classified. It is important to note that the following are general guidelines and each case is dependent upon which state and under what circumstances the ring was given.
Here are the most common ways states can decide who gets the ring;
1. The ring as an unconditional gift
A gift in these circumstances must have 3 elements;
- intent to give the gift
- delivery
- acceptance of the gift.
This type of gift, as hinted by the word ‘unconditional’ means that once these three events have occurred, the giving of the gift has been completed and cannot be revoked. Basically, you can’t get the ring back if you’ve given it to someone as a gift.
Generally, the receiver keeps the ring.
2. The ring as an implied ‘conditional’ gift
Adopted by the majority of states, the ring in this instance is considered subject to or based upon performance or condition.
The gift has the same three elements as above, but there is a fourth element in which a condition is stated – the marriage itself. If the two parties break up and don’t go through with the marriage, the ring will go to the ring giver. In this case, it doesn’t matter who broke off the engagement or the details of the failed relationship.
Generally, the giver keeps the ring.
3. The ring is given as compensation
There are some cases in which the courts have added another component to the identification of ownership of the gift after the break up: the gift as compensation.
If the receiver and the giver entered into some agreement that the ring was given in exchange for something, e.g. free labor, services to improve a business, etc. then it may be seen as non-monetary compensation for services rendered.
Generally, the receiver keeps the ring.
4. Fault-based approaches (like Contract Law)
In these cases, the entire engagement is considered a contract, and the engagement ring is a symbol of this contract. In this case, the person who calls off the wedding is ‘at fault’ and the ring ownership goes to the other party.
Just like the breaking of any other contract, if either or both parties are unable to fulfill the contract of getting married, the engagement ring goes to the original owner or purchaser of the ring.
Generally, the giver keeps the ring.
5. No-fault approaches (like No-Fault Divorces)
In these cases, the courts are not concerned with who is at fault for ending the engagement. Similar to the logic in a no-fault divorce, courts make it possible to settle without going into all the details of the break-up as they consider it to be simpler and more straightforward.
Generally, the giver keeps the ring.
6. The ring as a pledge
Sometimes the courts may characterize the ring as a symbol of the marriage, or a pledge “of the contract to marry.” In this case, if the engagement is no longer going forward the ring is returned to the giver.
The difference between a conditional and pledged ring is that, as the name denotes, the gift is conditioned upon marriage, whereas a pledged ring is a gift that symbolizes marriage.
Generally, the giver keeps the ring.
7. The ring as consideration
The courts may also rule that the ring was given in “consideration” – exchanged for the promise of marriage. Invoking language used in contract law, when the marriage does not occur, the contract has been breached and the engagement ring is returned to the giver.
Generally, the giver keeps the ring.
8. Statutory Issues
Some states have passed statutes that address the revocability of engagement rings. In these cases, the giver is able to get the ring back if the receiver would be unjustly ‘enriched’ by the gift (details in the next point).
Generally, the ring is returned to the giver.
9. Unjust Enrichment
In these cases, the courts find that if one of the parties involved is “unjustly enriched,” or if they have received a benefit of some kind, then the ring returns to the giver. However, they can only recover what was transferred as a gift with no extra punishment or reward.
Courts use this theory of recovery as there is no need to “examine the minds of the parties and determine their sincerity,” making it possibly the most honest of the theories of recovery.
Generally, the ring is returned to the giver.
10. Civil Fraud
One of the harsher approaches the courts have taken to impose the return of the engagement ring to the giver is fraud. The giver in this case needs to prove that the recipient of the ring lied in order to receive it.
In these cases, the penalty for the receiver may exceed the value of the gift.
Generally, the ring is returned to the giver.
Other factors that might influence a court’s decision include;
- Special Days: if the ring is given on a special day such as Christmas or a birthday, the ring may be treated like any other gift and in these cases, the receiver keeps the ring.
- Family heirloom: if the ring itself belonged to the giver’s family, since the receiver will no longer become part of that family, the giver keeps the ring.
For more detailed information regarding laws surrounding romantic gifts, check out the article A legal analysis of romantic gifts.
The average cost of weddings and engagement rings
Weddings are infamous for being rather expensive affairs and after polling nearly 18,000 couples across the US, The Knot Real Wedding Study 2015 found that the average price for a wedding has risen to an all-time high at over $32,600 in 2015! According to this research, the average cost of an engagement ring has risen to around $5,800. That can be a small fortune for many couples who may still be paying off other forms of debt from student loans or credit cards.
Along with the rising cost of weddings is the rising cost of rings. As the cost of an engagement ring can be significant for couples, the question of “who gets it” is frequently a source of contention for those in the process of separating.
The most expensive engagement ring of all time was crafted by Bvlgari and sold in April 2013 for $9.49 million. The most expensive diamond however wasn’t used for a celebrity engagement at all.
The Blue Moon Diamond, a rare 12.03-carat blue diamond, was bought by a Hong Kong businessman for his 7-year-old daughter is worth $48.5 million. Now that’s one expensive diamond!
With this amount of money being spent on an engagement ring, coupled with the cost of the wedding celebration itself, many people are choosing to discuss some important issues prior to tying the knot, particularly in relation to finances and personal assets.
As awkward as it is, discussing your finances and personal assets prior to getting married can clarify some issues that might arise, providing you with a greater idea of what the other person is hoping for in their future.
Places to live, having children, work and finances can all play a role in the future of your marriage. It’s best to sort these out early on by openly communicating ideas, perspectives, and beliefs.
This will ensure that your goals are aligned, or at the very least, communicated.
Including an engagement ring in a prenuptial agreement
You have found yourself now at the stage where you’ve discussed ideas about the future and have come to the conclusion that you need a prenuptial agreement prior to marrying your beloved. Perhaps you are in the process of getting a divorce and are thinking about what will happen to, amongst all the other assets, the engagement ring.
The creation of the prenuptial agreement provides both parties with a written legal document deciding upon the division of assets.
There are many issues to discuss with your fiancé and lawyer when creating the prenuptial agreement, including who gets the ring if the marriage ends. In other words, if you want to secure the engagement ring, make sure it is written into your prenuptial agreement.
The end of an engagement can be an emotional and traumatic event. An engagement ring that was once a token of love and appreciation can quickly turn into an object of great contention.
In any case, when the relationship is coming to an end, it’s always easier and cheaper to try and settle the case outside of the courts through open communication or using an alternative dispute resolution process.
If you have tried this, and it remains clear you need to go to court, check with a local attorney who can provide advice on how courts typically handle these matters in your state.
